I would like to register an official complaint about the general population of NYC (particularly females) who feel that, after having one (count it, one) freakishly warm April day (Wednesday, April 20, 82 degrees), the skank tanks and short shorts should be scavenged from the depths of storage and worn outdoors (even though the temperature has dropped to a more characteristic 55 degrees, Farenheit).

Let me give some of you a bit of advice. It's April. It's still too gosh darn cold out to be exposing that much of your birthday suit. Especially when, having obviously not completed the age old springtime regiment of burning off the winter jello-belly so as to actually look good wearing such clothing (in June, when summer starts), there is far more birthday suit than the norm being exposed.

Don't get me wrong, this matter wouldn't be so complaint worthy had the hoochie skirts and crop tops went away after that one day. But just because we had one day of lovely weather, somehow it seems that several people have already gone ahead and put all of their spring clothes away never to be seen again. It makes me hope for a freak mid-afternoon blizzard and that causes frostbite in unthinkable places for those less prepared to face the elements.