Musical Phallacy

"A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh", and a guitar is only a phallus? I have to admit, the folks at the super bowl party I attended had the same notion, and I thought the same, but I, like many non-God-fearing Americans, have a dirty mind (to be fair, the God-fearing folks do too, they just refuse to admit it). I called everything "kinky" through high school. I have immediately seen the perverse translation to any joke, image, conversation, or reading material since college. I consider myself a mostly moral human - I don't "slut around" (I'm getting married in August) or condone "skankiness" in others, and I generally keep my cursing to a minimum. I would hardly (no pun intended) call Prince's halftime performance an "outrage".

Many things in this world can be seen in a perverse way. What about the first skyscrapers that pop up in cities - surrounded perhaps by two small buildings? Or a beer ad to the same effect - a single beer bottle, moist with condensation, next to two short glasses, a woman's well-manicured hand (bright red, shiny nails of course) wrapped gently around the neck of the bottle? How about a coke commercial with a pretty girl (or, *gasp*, guy) drinking from a coke bottle? Suggestive imagery is used everywhere, because the human eye is lured to such material. It's effective, people buy into it. It's proven and it works, and it's going to be around for the duration of human nature.

A rock star is sexy. Period. Give a guy, or girl, a guitar, put them on a stage, and people go crazy. Maybe it's the lure of the unattainable, or the "bad" image, or that musicians are stereotypically non-committal, or just plain mysterious. It's a stage presence that keeps us watching. So someone like Prince, with a guitar, on stage, is sexy. Throw up a curtain and a light and watch his shadow - still sexy. That image might make your mind leap to other things, but the image is still a guy with a guitar.

And for that matter, why doesn't anyone complain about the trombone? Very phallic. Or the french horn - players usually put a hand or fist into the horn while playing. What does that make you think of? The movie American Pie took care of the flute for us (she put it where and still played it after?), and also somewhere along the line got the prefix "skin-" added. What would a shadow of a guy playing a cello look like? Probably not nearly as impressive as a bassist. What about the bassoon? Clarinet? Saxophonists are clearly inspired. What are we doing teaching kids to play instruments anyway? Just think of the perversion! THIS MUST BE STOPPED!!

In short - Prince's performance was sexy in true rock star fashion, but only to a PG rating at worst. Young kids would not get that imagery, and if they did, why are you letting them watch a bunch of muscle-bound guys hurt each other and then pat each other on the ass?

Prince's Halftime Exhibition