Talk about getting started at an early age...

"The accusers, who were 5 and 6 at the time of the trial, recanted their earlier
testimony and said their grandmother told them to say Smith was responsible for
the abuse rather than their 9-year-old cousin. The cousin, who can't be
prosecuted because of his age at the time of the crime, is serving a life prison
sentence for murder. The grandmother has died."

Something tells me sheltering the 9 year old cousin backfired...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/08/18/refused.pardon.ap/index.html

If I've been speaking English all my life...

Why do I find it impossible to talk? I just had a conference call with 4 people, none of whom I am particularly intimidated by, and all I had to say was 5 words to sum up my thought. Could I do that? Noooo. I had to stammer and sputter through about 90 seconds of drivel before I spat out something coherent.

Maybe it has something to do with translating empirical bubbles of thought to words, I don't know. I knew exactly what I was trying to say in pictures in my head. Unfortunately, the monitor displaying "pictures in Emma's head" hasn't been invented yet.

What the heck is wrong with me, and do I really want to know the answer to that?

If only we could all be so lucky

"We have performed autopsies on six people. Our conclusion is they had circulation and were breathing at the time of death," Koutsaftis said.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/08/15/greece.crash.1437/index.html

Am I the only one who finds humor in that statement?

NYC transit rant...

Yes, I think I am obsessed with this web site

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have some good news and some bad news. Bad news is that our engine has stopped. The good news is that you're not on an airplane.

--MetroNorth train
(fyi for non-locals - the commuter rail to Westchester and CT)

Why this is so funny:

Once when it was 10 degrees out and I was coming back to the city, this happened to me just outside of New Rochelle. They got a little engine thingie to push the train to New Rochelle station, where we got out of the train and waited outside (remember, 10 degrees) for 4 hours while they arranged for 2 buses to bring 500 people to the Pelham station (25 people at a time), where we could get on another train to the city (which waited there for all 500 people).

Other annoying things about NYC transit:

• Smelly/hot subway platform or bus stop
• Trains/buses not showing up for 20 minutes during rush hour
• 300 sweaty people waiting 20 minutes for a train, only to wait 20 more minutes when they won't fit on the one that finally comes
• 300 people lubed up with sweat sliding against you in the crowded train/bus
• Subway announcement thanking riders for "riding with MTA NYC Transit!" (as if we had a choice)
• Musical performers (particularly trumpets and mariachi trios) - confined space people!!
• The preacher guy who shouts gospel to the car for the entirety of his ride. If I wanted to be lectured about being a sinner, I'd go to church

And people wonder why I don't do boroughs???

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002270.html

Who doesn't love getting hit on by the homeless?

This about sums up everything I've ever thought while in this woman's situation.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002256.html